Romance kind of gets a bad wrap for being silly and frivolous when included in a story. In some cases, this is for good reason. Mainstream media often depicts romance in a stereotypical manner, or in a way that’s so cheesy most can’t help but scoff at it. As a result, some might see it as an annoying interruption, a deviation that has nothing to do with the main plot. Furthermore, some people have little to no personal interest in romance, and thus have no desire to include such things in their story.
Some stories are indeed better when devoid of romance, but there are many cases where a tale may actually benefit from the inclusion of romantic elements. For the sake of this post, ‘romantic elements’ will encompass the normal connotations of falling in love, but also other issues that surround it, such as lust and marital conflict.
First and foremost, romance benefits stories by reflecting reality. Romance impacts everyone, even those that abstain from relationships. When people’s parents don’t get along, that shapes their childhood. Furthermore, practically no one would be born without romance and lust. In general, even societies that lack romance and handle reproduction through more scientific means were probably affected by romance in some way. In all likelihood, something in their history made them see romance as a hindrance to progress and thus caused them to focus on other means of sustaining their population. Thus, even then, some sort of romantic element might merit discussion to explain the origins of that society.
There are ways to avoid a story being impacted by romance, but they often require writing about beings vastly different than us. Having all the chars be immortal is one method. Another is to write about a completely asexual species that has always been like that and has no contact with creatures that reproduce other ways.
Romance can provide sequel material. If the main character’s story arc is over, either because they died or they are done adventuring forever, sequels are going to have to focus on other characters. Although it may be possible to use previous side chars or new chars as the sequels’ protagonist, focusing on the next generation instead may have more impact. This gives authors a chance to build off the previous arcs of well loved chars and show how they impacted others. A character’s behavior is often going to impact their family greatly, after all. Even further, the character’s children can provide a fresh perspective on previous events and people.
Using next gen characters is also usually easier than starting completely from scratch, since next generation stories ground readers in pre-established situations instead of having to take time for exposition to introduce new ones.
But next generation characters are harder to introduce without some degree of romance(unless the stork dropped them on the parent’s doorstep one day). If someone has a biological kid, the question of who that kid’s other parent is will likely come up at some point. Maybe the question would realistically occur in the story, or it will simply be something readers want to know. But having a kid is a process, an entire segment of the character’s backstory, and thus would impact the character almost regardless of the circumstances around their child’s birth. If, for instance, a man has a child because he got married and his wife died in childbirth, that should have some bearing on his characterization. In turn, this will have a bearing on their child’s characterization.
Writing romance well can be very vital in cases like that. Main characters have the spotlight on them. If everything else about them is well written, yet their romance arc is flat, stereotypical, and/or barely discussed, it might weaken the story’s quality. Or, even worse, it can cause people to misread the character. If a character is supposed to be kind hearted and empathetic, yet his spouse dying in childbirth has no impact on his behavior going forward...he may come across as callous, or at least inconsistent. It would also be strange if that romance arc didn’t impact the character’s child in some way. The child might not be sad, due to not knowing the mother, but such things would impact how the child grows up and sees the world. This can fuel a sequel by giving the next generation character challenges to work through.
Romance is an excellent way to explore human psychology. Many normal relationship dynamics, such as friendship, conflict, etc. are present within romantic relationships, but the two characters are more deeply intertwined. Because of the impact they have on each other, their relationship dynamics are magnified. If two regular friends don’t get along, it’s usually a lot easier for them to go their separate ways, so we may not see what would happen if their conflict worsens due to close proximity.
In a romantic relationship, however, breaking ties can be harder. The two chars are more likely to be emotionally bound, or they built a life together that will fall apart if they stop interacting. Factors like that may force them to stay together and in conflict far longer than people who are just friends. This is the perfect opportunity to show how a detailed, somewhat inescapable conflict looks like over the long haul.
But conflict isn’t the only psychological aspect that can be explored through romance. There’s also long term friendship and camaraderie. Normal friends have a higher chance of moving away and growing apart, but a romantic partner may very well stay there a lifetime, if all goes well. This can be used to explore how such close friendship impacts someone’s life. When people always have someone they can count on, that greatly affects their behavior. People might be a little more daring or effective if they know someone’s always got their back, for instance.
Romance doesn’t have to be cheesy or stereotypical. Not only can it can be an intricate study of human nature, but it can be used as a well thought out plot device. The way people treat their significant others, for instance, says a lot about them and helps with characterization. A romantic partner can be a help or a hindrance, depending on the story. When characters responds to each instance of that, they show who they are and move the story along. At that point, the romance doesn’t have to be sappy and cheesy, but an interesting set of behaviors instead.
If authors want to write stories and characters that feel real, they often need to address romantic elements at some point or another. Simply because of that, learning to write romantic elements adds another tool in the author’s arsenal. One way to start learning is by finding shows/comics/etc. with well written romantic elements and various types of relationship dynamics. When people find romantic elements in a story they enjoy, it becomes far easier to internalize how to add those elements in their own tales. Additionally, pay attention to romantic elements that occur in real life and compare them to romance stories that seem poorly written. Based on what is seen in real life, what did those romance stories do wrong and right?
So, just my two cents worth on the subject. What are the best and worst examples of romance writing you've seen? What are your habits/opinion when it comes to romance in stories?
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